Since the end of the Second World War, the rates of depression around the world have soared. Depression is an illness that can destroy lives ad families. Many people try various forms of treatment before any improvement is realized. Many are not so lucky and end up paying the ultimate price. Drugs and medication are one way to treat depression. However there has been a lot of criticism in recent years over the amount of medication we are taking. Depression can be treated naturally and the natural approach should be attempted first if possible.

WHEN YOU ARE DEPRESSED:

Getting good nights sleep is essential. Sleep and mood are closely linked. When we are tired we react to things differently than we do when we have had adequate rest. Remember to sleep well and regularly.

Caffeine and other stimulants should be avoided. They do give you temporary energy but have been known to deplete your serotonin levels. Low serotonin levels are a prime cause of depression.

Take a multi vitamin everyday. This is especially important if your lifestyle causes you to skip meals. Low vitamin deficiency has been linked to depression.

You may want to try getting in touch with your spiritual side. This can be done in a variety of ways. If you enjoy going to church, this is a good opportunity. You may want to look at prayer and meditation as well. You do not have to be overly religious to be spiritual. There are many ways to get there.

Finally, you may want to try getting more exercise. This doesn’t mean marathon training. Start out slow and build up if you feel the need. Exercise helps release endorphins which make you feel more empowered. There is also the health benefits attached to more activity.

The natural approach may be effective. It can also have other positive influences on your overall health.

WHEN A FAMILY MEMBER IS DEPRESSED:

If someone you love is suffering from depression, it is only natural to want to help. Family members can provide an incredible amount of support for someone suffering from this illness. However, you must know how to be effective. If not the family member could end up doing more harm than good.

The first thing you should do is read everything you can about depression and its treatments. Being forewarned is being forearmed. By making yourself knowledgeable, you can help make decisions when perhaps the loved one isn’t in a fit state to do so. You should also read up on how your loved one will feel. Getting as much insight as possible as to what depression will do to this person will help you cope with the worst days.

You have to keep in mind that caring for a depressed person is very braining both physically and emotionally. You need to set aside time for yourself. You won’t be any use to your loved one if you are tired and stressed out. In fact you may make things worse. Talk about what you are going through with someone who understand or even join a support group. Take some time to enjoy yourself as well. Don’t let your loved ones depression takes over your life as well.

Depressed people do need lots of love and support. You don’t want to smother them but you need to be there when they need it most. Knowing they can rely on you will help them get through some of the darkest moments.

Don’t deny your own feelings. There will be times when you’re feeling angry and frustrated. You need a support network to help vent these feelings out. A good friend or a support group again can be a great source of comfort. Keeping your feelings bottled up can lead to your own illness.

GETTING PROFESSIONAL HELP:

Dealing with depression is difficult and draining. It puts stress and strain on the life of the depressed person as well as those close to him or her. Many types of therapies may have to be tried and tested before any improvement is seen. One such possibility is talk therapy.

Talking therapies can be of a great help when it comes to treating depression. It involved various types of counseling with a psychologist, Psychiatrist or therapist. Talking therapies allow the depressed person to get their feelings out. They also allow for the two people to work together to try to find the root cause for their depression.

Talking therapies do vary but most involve the same key elements. First there is the listening session. The therapist listens to the person’s problems. Over time the person develops a relationship with the therapist where they feel they are understood. Next there is the emotional release. This is helpful but cannot be done to often. Letting the emotions out too often can have the opposite effect and lead to further depression. Next comes the advice and guidance. The patient may be able to seek the answers on their own through session and homework. Finally, there is information provided. They are giving information in small bits but as progress is made it can be increased. Depressed people can sometimes have poor concentration and memories so information is given carefully.

Talking therapies can be very effective in treating depression but they do take time. Several sessions may be required and the patient’s family may have to be involved. Talking therapies can help mild to moderate depression greatly; however severe cases of depression will usually need a combination of talk and medication.

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Q: Dear Ron

I have a 15-year-old son who has always lived with his mother except for last year when he lived with me. His mother had moved away four years ago, and last year he decided he wanted to be with his brother and his roots. His mother moved back last summer, and he went back to living with her. In the year he lived with me, he almost never missed school, and had grades good enough to be accepted into advanced placement classes in High School. Since going back to his mother, he has been put on both Prozac (which she is on) and Trazodone by a Family Physician, though he has never seen a Psychologist or Psychiatrist. His mother says he has depression, though the Dr.’s. Diagnosis is “fatigue.” He was put on scholastic probation in the fall, and in the spring semester missed 21 of the first 24 days of school and lost all credit. His mother says it is all for “illness,” though she and he hid it from me, and finally admitted to me in one phone conversation that it was due to his depression. Himself then put him in a special program for kids with attendance problems where he works all afternoon on a computer, and for this he will get partial credit for the semester. I only found out about the problems at school very recently. He and his mother conspired to hide it from me, and I only found out the truth when I called the school. In addition, he has no friends his own age. Instead, he is hanging out–at his own home–with his older brother’s old High School friends–who are 19 to 21 years old, even though his older brother is away at college, and at this point is not even allowed at his mother’s house. I know for a fact most of these kids smoke pot and am fairly sure that he is smoking with them. He does not have regular hours, often staying up until 2 or 3 in the morning (his special school starts at 1 p.m.), and he sometimes left home alone all night, i.e., his mother spends the night out.

I have filed for custody even though he has lived with his mother all but one year (we were divorced when he was four). I am concerned that to pull him away from his mother might do more harm than good, though our relationship was good the one year he lived me. And I am very, very concerned that his life is being ruined by my ex-wife, who has never believed in any sort of rules or discipline with children.

My two questions are, does his combination of medications make sense for a mildly depressed teenager who has not come close to committing suicide (as far as I can tell), and do you think it is reasonable for me to try to change his life, knowing that the separation from his mother would be painful. I should note he has refused to visit me since I filed a month ago, and she will not force him to see me.

Any help you can give me would be greatly appreciated.

Divorced Dad’s Dilemma

A: Dear Divorced Dad’s Dilemma,

This is a complex situation that will require professional help if you are going to get it adequately resolved. I would urge you to consult with an attorney on the legal issues regarding your son and your custody. I know that you stated you have filed for custody but that doesn’t always mean you got good advice on your rights. For example, you may have legal custody, which is separate from physical custody and have a right to say “no” to the medications and any treatment. If you do not have any physical or custody rights, you may be headed for a long and messy legal battle. No matter what the outcome, a long battle will hurt everyone, especially your son. Seek out a mediator who specializes in these types of disputes. This may prove cheaper and more fruitful, in the long run. Many mediators work with therapists or are trained clinicians and can understand the underlying emotional issues. And, if he is involved with drugs, urge the mother to place him in a rehabilitation program. This may be the real cause of his “fatigue” and “depression.”

If your son is truly in a dangerous situation and you continue to feel he is being neglected and/or abused, then the best course of action is the legal one. But, if you are not positive, I would seriously reconsider this course of action. It is obvious that you want the best for your son and are willing to put aside your feelings regarding the mother if it means helping your son. She may not be a perfect parent but she has been the constant object in your son’s life and to change that now could create unnecessary pain for your son. If you decide to take this alternative route focus on building a strong father-son relationship.

Blessings,

Ron

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A recent journal article did a study on psychopathology predictors in Kindergartners. They looked at children in the 3rd through 5th grade to see who displayed externalizing behaviors and then looked to see if the same troublesome children had any early warning signs back in Kindergarten. What are “externalizing” behaviors you ask. Good question. It refers to aggression, hyperactivity, defiance, arguing, lying, stealing, etc. Thing you can see on the outside of a person versus inner issues like depression, inattention and learning behaviors.

Like many studies, it doesn’t tell you what to do about it. It just answers the question of “is there a connection or not?” In this case, there was a connection. Children who start school with externalizing behavior problems will have more serious behavior issues later in school grades. An interesting factor here is that children with learning issues, in Kindergarten, had more behavioral problems later too.

The point of this is that if we can identify early warning signs, we can develop interventions to deal with it before children end up with more serious problems. As a side note, I find it curious how society believes these issues are the schools responsibility to correct instead of it being a part of the parents job. Also, why did the child start his school life with problems. What is going on at home? What early interventions/programs can we offer mom and dad as soon as they know they are pregnant? Parenting classes anyone?

Glad to hear your thoughts on this …

I saw this youtube video at the “Art of Experience” blog and was immediately intrigued. Truthfully I am not sure if I can register the difference in facial expression by this speaker but I like his teaching. It resonates with my reading of the “Social Engagement System” by Stephen Porges, MD and how this develops social attachment and bonding between mother and child. The SES is what triggers our fight, flight or freeze reactions to overwhelming stressors. The speaker in this video is coming from a salesmanship orientation and not a clinical psychology/researcher point of view but he is dead on (no pun intended) about how your facial expression can enhance your personal relationship, be they business or social.

It reminds me of the research on “still face” experiments where a parent stops being animated with an infant and just goes “still” or expressionless. The baby will try to get the parent to interact, cry when that doesn’t work and then emotionally shuts down. This has a lot of implications for depressed parents or parents who are drug addicts leaving little to no face-to-face interaction with the child. This results in a child who cannot bond with adults or develops a disordered attachment style.

Often in my therapeutic work with children I will be extra animated with attachment disordered children to help them be aware of social communication/signals and read them accurately. Engagement is a key element in their treatment. They need the extra effort to feel it is safe to trust our facial expressions and start learning from them.

Try the OPEN Face for a few days and tell me if you see any difference in your life. It will make me smile

“Must” #1 (a demand on yourself): “I MUST do well and get approval, or else I’m worthless.” This demand causes anxiety, depression, and lack of assertiveness.

“Must” #2 (a demand on others): “You MUST treat me reasonably, considerately, and lovingly, or else you’re no good.” This “must” leads to resentment, hostility, and violence.

“Must” #3 (a demand on situations): “Life MUST be fair, easy, and hassle-free, or else it’s awful.” This thinking is associated with hopelessness, procrastination, and addictions.

Overcome negative thinking with clinical hypnosis!