Should you let your child have a FaceBook account?
by Ron Huxley on December 27, 2009
Over the holidays we visited various friend and families and I noticed two things about this issue: One was that our friends small children are no longer small. They are big teenagers! Second, was that some parents allowed their teens to have FB accounts and some didn’t. What are your thoughts about this? If teens are allowed to update and tweet, etc. what rules should there be about it?
Tweet us a reply @ronhuxley or comment back below…
| 1. You must friend me. Not because I am lonely, if you’ve noticed I have over 500 of my own friends, you need to friend me if you want to be on Facebook. |
| 2. I must know your password. Granted I will also have to write it down and I promise not to show it to your little brother. but you still need to give it to me. If you change it, you must give me the new one. And again, I will not share that information with your brother. |
| 3. For my part, I promise not to abuse my power. I will not sign into your account without your knowledge. |
| 4. Believe me, I know your friends will use language I prefer you not use. |
| With teens I tend to lean toward the “less is more” when it comes to words, yet at the same time I make sure I’m packing plenty of information in what I do say. |
| My one reservation is the issue of the kids not understanding the ramifications of their actions. I worry about impulsive posts and not understanding the weight of what gets posted. |
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Tagged as:
adolescence,
Arts,
child,
facebook,
Kids and Teens,
programs,
social networking,
Television
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I liked the ground rules, and agree on the issue of efficiency but potency of words. I don't think that one answer is going to be appropriate for every child, or even any one child all the time. I use Facebook with my daughter as a means of always providing fuel for engaging discussions. I have told her for some time that my job is not to tell her what to think, but to teach her how to think. Facebook provides that medium.
I love how you use social media as a way to teach a child how to think. This attitude should be applied to all things when parenting. Thanks for the great reply.
my girlfriend signed up her daughter with a facebook fan page. She is only 7 years old the picture of her on the page is in a cute little cheer leader outfit with a bio about her likes and dislikes. I know that we can adjust the privacy setting etc but we all know that noithing is really private on the internet no matter what you do. I feel this is inappropriate and putting her child at risk, any thoughts?
Thanks for posting your question and your concern about this girl's safety. I think it is definitely a risk that the mom is taking with this. If this were a safer, kinder world, we wouldn't need to be concerned. But it can be a dangerous world and so, I would agree with you that it is an unnecessary risk that I would not want to take.
I can't help but think its a violation of privacy to set ground rules that involve requesting a child give their parents the password to their account. "Friending" mom or dad with full access to their profile, etc is a good idea, but requesting the password is telling your child you don't trust them. I think a more trusting approach might be to warn him/her you'll do spot checks once in a while. Ask to see their account without warning, and make it part of the deal. Have him/her take you through their emails and walk you through their account. At least they still feel somewhat in control. As a household you can maintain an open dialogue about social media at the kitchen table or on the way to school/ dance practice. Use examples of misunderstandings that you yourself have encountered in emails or on facebook that led to uncomfortable situations. Establishing a trusting relationship shows your child you believe in their inherent good nature.
You make some very reasonable points about how to manage social media and children. I especially liked your comment about showing your trust in their inherent good nature. Thanks for offering that up!