Dear Diary: Writing helps me heal!

by Ron Huxley on March 4, 2010

In our last post we talked about the anger myth about how venting your anger is not really healthy. As you would expect, there are opposite ideas that say letting your emotions out is healthy. It is all about how you do it and if your catharsis leads to constructive change or coping. Research suggests that “writing” your feelings can be very helpful in the coping/healing process. Writing has the ability to allow us to craft new narratives about our lives and the meaning that we give it. You become the author of your situation versus the victim. Do you agree? How have your used writing to help you heal? Tweet us @ronhuxley or leave a comment below…
clipped from www.healthandage.com

Research is starting to shed some light on the thorny issue of talking about trauma. Does it help to talk about traumas you’ve experienced or not? Is it a good idea for someone to write about traumatic experiences? It turns out, like most things in life, that it depends on how and in what circumstances.

Although writing as therapy actually has an ancient history, a model was developed for research purposes by James Pennebaker, Professor of Psychology at the University of Texas 2 . The method consists of several writing exercises with an emphasis on expressing one’s emotions. It has been shown in numerous experiments conducted by him and his colleagues that this simple procedure leads to improvements in physical health.

  • Let your hand and the pencil or pen guide you.
  • Set aside a time each day
  • Find a place where you feel alone and comfortable

  • Write out how you feel. Don’t use big words and don’t talk about it. Show, don’t tell, as they say. “I feel _______ that ____________.”
  • blog it
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    Is there a “Volcano” in your home?

    by Ron Huxley on February 27, 2010

    There are lot of myths in our society about how to control anger and aggression. The biggest myth is that “if you let it out, it goes away!” This is called the “volcano myth” because on the venting that occurs and the destruction that results from just letting it all out.

    The erupting Mt. Monokoa.
    Image via Wikipedia

    It is true that when you let off a little steam you feel a little better. But where did the problem go? Is it gone? NO. In fact, letting it out may have caused a bigger problem to develop. If you got mad and stormed off in your car you may have gotten into an accident or received a ticket. Now you have something else to be mad about. If you punched a hole in the wall you will have to repair the wall…and maybe your hand. How did that help you? If you threw a tantrum and yelled at a loved one, friend, or boss what did that do to your relationship? Now both of you are angry and looking for revenge! “Letting it out” may feel good in the short-term but it doesn’t help you in the long-term.

    Is there a volcano in your home? Let Ron help by setting up an online consult today!

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    6 Steps to Stress-Free Parenting

    February 17, 2010

    Nothing describes parenting better than stress! As far as I can tell, there are no stress-free ages or stages in raising children. Oh, some might be a little less challenging but they all have their ups and downs. Experts tell us that some stress, in moderate doses, actually increases performance. It is supposed to keep [...]

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    The First Two Years of Life: Enthroning and Dethroning the Child

    February 11, 2010

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    The first two years of life are the most important time for children, emotionally and developmentally. It is during this time that children form attachments with parents or caregivers. Attachment is a special tie between parent and child, laying the foundation for all of a child’s future relationships and behaviors. A strong foundation [...]

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    What’s your child’s job description?

    February 1, 2010

    “Job Description” is a parenting tool that ensures that children understand what is expected of them when performing a chore or job at home. Just as in the office, parents can write out a “job description” that details what is expected of a each person in the home. This reduces power struggles and conflicts because [...]

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    Teach the 3 R’s of Conflict Resolution

    January 24, 2010

    Did you know that 30% of American elementary school children bullies their classmates. That might not disturb you if your child is in the safe 70% but if your child has been the victim of a schoolyard bully or has harassed children himself, it can be very unsettling. To make matters worse, most schools do [...]

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    Parenting Your Adopted Teenager

    January 20, 2010

    Parenting a teenager takes finesse and patience under the smoothest of situations but add the various issues of loss and identity that adoption can bring and you have an situation that most parents cannot handle. To help, the child welfare association has put together a handy 6 part fact book with parenting tips and tools:

    clipped [...]

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    How Good a Listener Are You?

    January 17, 2010

    One of the hallmarks of emotionally intelligent people is their ability to listen deeply to others. This is extremely important for parents who want to build families with strong empathy skills and keep communication channels open throughout each developmental age and stage.
    Here’s a little self-evaluation exercise to help you pin down just how good you [...]

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    Bodily Clues to Anger

    January 12, 2010

    Image by Jer Kunz via Flickr

    Where do you feel anger in your body?
    Have you ever noticed what kinds of sensations anger causes in your body? Do you suffer physically as a result of getting angry? Many people experience visceral sensations of heat, cold, numbness, tingling, and even pain as a result of being angry. When [...]

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    Are you a boiling frog?

    January 9, 2010

    Image via Wikipedia

    It has been said that if you put a frog into a boiling
    pot of water that he will immediately jump out. Smart frog! But if
    you put him into a regular pot of water and slowly heat it up to
    boiling he will never get out. Not so smart! This story has a lot of
    implications [...]

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